I have these fearful lapses of uncertainty as well. But the difference is – I know the past does not define me. I remind myself that this was something I developed for a purpose, a survival tool, a means to an end. I am the manipulative mistress who used it, and can now discard it. I am no victim, forget that, I’ve been victimized enough.
It takes a great deal of strength and integrity to be so resourceful. So I can redirect that energy toward my living – easy, lucky, free living.