Inside is a fiery thirst for progress that is unbending and insatiable. There is no disentangling progression from perfection, and both are always just a little out of reach. There is no negotiating. If I allow an inch, I would take a mile.
There is a repulsion of anything that resembles narcissism and indulgence, dependence and weakness. Until even the gestures for self-assurance seem… wrong. I sweep up all the crumbs of courage and self-love. My quest to be the least consuming has made me the ultimate consumer of myself. There can always be more, faster, harder.
Wanting more comes naturally to us humans, whether is it money or status or stuff. In fact, this drive for progress has led to our major advancements and accomplishments as a species. But, always wanting more means never having enough and never being satisfied. It’s really that simple.
I want everyone to find dignity in their vulnerabilities, and be satisfied from the inside out. I want to learn to be more gentle and content with myself.