too gentle to live among wolves

I am one of the searchers. There are, I believe, millions of us.

We are not unhappy, but neither are we really content. We continue to explore life, hoping to uncover its ultimate secret. We continue to explore ourselves, hoping to understand.

We like to walk along the beach, we are drawn by the ocean, taken by its power, its unceasing motion, its mystery and unspeakable beauty. We like forests and mountains, deserts and hidden rivers, and the lonely cities as well.

Our sadness is as much a part of our lives as is our laughter. To share our sadness with one we love is perhaps as great a joy as we can know – unless it be to share our laughter.

We searchers are ambitious only for life itself, for everything beautiful it can provide.

Most of all we love and want to be loved.

We want to live in a relationship that will not impede our wandering, nor prevent our search, nor lock us in prison walls; that will take us for what little we have to give. We do not want to prove ourselves to another or compete for love.

For wanderers,

dreamers,

and lovers,

for lonely men and women who dare to ask of life everything good and beautiful.

It is for those who are too gentle to live among wolves.

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Kavanaugh

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cherry chapstick

We can live. By all means, live. Wake up, eat cereal, walk, work, talk, eat, sleep, live. I know I can accomplish great things when I live. I can get a bonus, have a relationship, read a book. Read 100 books. Hell, write a book.

Or, we can Live (did I lose you?).

We can fall in love. Or fall in Love over and over again, and without fear or apology.
Be fascinated by the freckles that make each day staggeringly complex and different. And similar.

We can listen. Or Listen with true openness and tolerance. To even the intentions spoken between words and without speech. Not just to those we understand with ease, but also those whose actions we will never understand.
And to those who are no longer with us, and exist instead in the slowdancing of snowfalls. And cherry Chapstick.

The only thing that’s constant is change, and we feel safer to resist impermanence. So, we can live. Or Live and open ourselves, as petals, and remain passionately curious.

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coming back around again

Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.

And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes

you cannot even breathe deeply, and

the night sky is no home, and

you have cried yourself to sleep enough times

that you are down to your last two percent, but

nothing is infinite,

not even loss.

You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day

you are going to find yourself again.

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F. Scott

one foot in sea, one on shore

Love,

It will not betray you
Dismiss you, or
Enslave you.

It will set you free.

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one for me, one for you

Opening and giving to others is a movement that starts and ends within.

In order to offer our love to others, we need to first give to ourselves. Does that sound paradoxical? It’s not. The amount you can give is directly proportionate to the capacity of what you are.

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When we pause for a moment in stillness, we become instantly more self-aware. Oh, there you are. We are present and able to see clearly the most important character in our lives – ourselves. Our “selfs.” Are we really paying enough attention to this person?

Taking good care of yourself seems easy, right? You just do it. Of course. How simple. Except it’s not. Because until you actually accept and understand who your “self” is, it’s pretty hard to actually love it. We do this by simply being present with ourselves. Discovering our needs and filling them, just by asking, “what is it that I need right now?” Taking our time, taking what we need. Offering basic compassion. Nourishment.

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When we are filled with self love and approval, we are better able to give. What’s more is that we can give from an authentic and meaningful place. We can continue thirsting to offer more of ourselves, but without internal neglect, mindlessness or deprivation. We can channel our motives for avoiding focus on ourselves and learn that we can give not to fill a void. That void is filled with peace and love from within, not without.

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