give back your heart, to itself

The time will come
When, with elation,
You will greet yourself arriving
At your own door, in your own mirror,
And each will smile at the other’s welcome.

And say, sit here. Eat.
You will love again the stranger who was your self.
Give wine.
Give bread.
Give back your heart
To itself, to the stranger who has loved you

All your life, whom you ignored
For another, who knows you by heart.
Take down the love letters from the bookshelf,

The photographs, the desperate notes,
Peel your image from the mirror.
Sit. Feast on your life.
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Derek Walcott.

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coming back around again

Everyone who terrifies you is sixty-five percent water.

And everyone you love is made of stardust, and I know sometimes

you cannot even breathe deeply, and

the night sky is no home, and

you have cried yourself to sleep enough times

that you are down to your last two percent, but

nothing is infinite,

not even loss.

You are made of the sea and the stars, and one day

you are going to find yourself again.

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F. Scott

grace

Offer up your burdens and you will be taken care of. Those who do will not be permitted to slip and fall.

This is difficult in the face of hardships, but your faithfulness will be honoured.

Grace is all you need.

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When you go out and fight your enemies, and you face horses and chariots and an army greater than your own, do not be afraid.

Grace is on your side to give you a heart of peace and confidence for tomorrow.

wolf in sheep’s clothing

How do you know if something is good or bad? It seems a simple question, but this is a task at which humans are notoriously inept.

We would say that something is good if we like it. If it makes us feel pleasant and comfortable. Maybe even safe, happy and secure. Bad things bring us discomfort. They take away the things that we like. Bad = pain, confusion, anxiety.

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The trouble is that good and bad mean different things to different people, at different times and under different circumstances. Cue: Conflict. Plus, sometimes good things wear disguises and present themselves as challenges, only to turn out absolutely and completely amazing. On the other hand, we do things that feel good and comfortable that prove to be unhealthy and destructive in the long run.

I spend all kinds of time paralyzed by fear of doing things that are actually good for me because they bring feelings of anxiety, vulnerability and stress. Avoiding these things is a quick fix to feel better in the moment, but actually does no good at all. A wolf in sheep’s clothing. A security blanket. I can build myself upon these unhealthy things disguised as good, until the ground collapses right under me and I find I’ve gone nowhere.

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Letting go of the security blanket means doing stuff that doesn’t feel good. It means walking up to the big, bad wolf and staring it right in the eyes. This just isn’t human nature – Think of all the people in the world sticking to bad relationships and unhealthy habits, like smoking – Letting go is a process.

Realizing this limitation actually brings me a sense of peace. I know that avoiding the right path because I am afraid will never allow me to achieve my dreams. I can cast my fears aside by accepting that I don’t perfectly understand good and bad, and I’m not intended to. I can trust that my life’s trajectory is headed toward freedom and peace, and align myself with the inherent goodness that is faith.

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i exist as i am, that is enough

Night rolls around and it all starts making sense;

There is no right way,
Or wrong way,
You just have to live.
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So, I do what I do,
And at least I exist.

What could mean more than this?

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