to be vulnerable

Life, love, vulnerability.

To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.

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C S Lewis

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the small stuff

What excites you?
What makes your heart skip a beat? Catches your breath?
Makes your knees tremble?

You’ll want to stop and think for a moment to make sure you’re response is truly profound. It’s tough to answer because most of our lives are spent in the mundane. We think we can find gratitude only in the great landmarks that define our lives. But it is not your new house, your white wedding, or the dream job.

Rather than the big punctuations, our greatest gifts are the small details hidden within. The small stuff. These moments are often overlooked and discarded, so it takes vigilance to notice and them. When we stop waiting to be grateful exclusively for life’s grandest moments, we will find shortcuts to happiness in our daily lives.
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i am the master of my fate

It matters not how straight the gate, how charged with punishment the scroll,

I am the master of my fate,

the captain of my soul.

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William Ernest Henley

that we may learn to bear the beams of love

Allowing someone to love us is equally difficult as actually loving someone.

At least once, you’ve likely looked around and thought, “I don’t understand why you love me.” You are being loved without feeling deeply deserving of love. This is normal. It comes from the very nature of unconditional love, in which we are loving in a way that is more than baseline requirements. We are taking the risk to offer a love that is otherwise not needed. I’m convinced this is one of the more powerful feelings we can experience as humans.

I think a lot about isolation.

One can become so well-practised at being unloved that they cannot accept it. When someone genuinely loves them, the only thing they know how to do is push them away. They cocoon themselves in a false security that seems impenetrable. Unbreakable.

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And we are put on earth a little space
That we may learn to bear the beams of love
And these little black bodies and this sun-burnt face
Is but a cloud, and like a shady grove – Blake

In order to endure love, we must make ourselves vulnerable. We must risk loving without the certainty that it won’t be rejected or exploited. We must love wildly, until we forget where we are in space, and what the date is, and who will judge us.