the busy bias

Our society praises busyness. It equates being busy with being successful. If you are busy, then you are important, admirable and in high demand of others. Busy bees buzzing around here and there, chasing perfection, constantly working to meet and exceed expectations.

Is this not a totally biased perspective? To be a busy workaholic will certainly bring about results, but what’s the cost? Of course, doing nothing at all would not be correct.

Busyness can be guise for those who find discomfort in stillness. Sometimes we cannot fathom what would become of our lives if we just… didn’t. If we just stopped. Perhaps, we’d find ourselves feeling anxious and guilty in this state of being. Busyness can mask the emptiness we fear to find within ourselves because, of course, our lives cannot be meaningless is we are busy.

We must be careful of the difference here. A balance can be established between sitting idle and being constantly on the go. That balance is where we can be most effective. Most satisfied. We flourish.

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anniversary wishes

Today, the magical forces of the internet informed me that I’ve officially been blogging for a year. How time can move both fast and slow.

What continues to bring me great pause is the way my writing resonates with such a diverse group – despite never truly revealing my gory details. Authenticity. Positivity. Gratitude. Mindfulness. We humans have commonalities, no matter the experiences we’ve strung together to bring us where we are today (I find this eerily comforting).

I refer to recovery in an ambiguous way, as if it is a beast I cannot bring myself to look directly at, and prefer to keep in my periphials.  I want to clarify that I am unafraid to face it.  I am unashamed to bear my heart about it.  I have unwavering determination in my advocacy for the cause.

It simply does not define me.

I cannot allow it to cling to my identity, to make it on my resume, and to nip at my ankles as I march through each new day.

Rendering homage to my first blog anniversary, I am sharing a new project. A more practical resource in recovery.

http://edfreedom.com/

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Thanks for being there.

7 billion people and only one you

Being yourself is a full time job. And it offers a really crappy pension for early retirement.

As we are always evolving, being authentic means something different all the time. We need to pay careful attention to what being true to ourselves means, from moment to moment as we grow.

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It all starts with attainting a strong introspective awareness. We often distract ourselves from experiencing our feelings because we are scared, and it just seems easier that way, and ain’t nobody got time for that. What we really end up doing is self-sabotaging from ever feeling deeply satisfied with who we are.

With practise, we can build an honest relationship with ourselves from which we can cultivate true fulfillment. We can easily know what feels right for us and how to adapt when something feels wrong, avoiding things that compromise our values, feelings and desires.

Stop settling. Stop masking yourself behind a puppet of who you think you should be. Stop hiding behind unhealthy habits and coping skills. Stop being your symptoms and start being you.

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learning & living – NEDIC conference

NEDIC Body Image and Self-Esteem Conference 2013

To learn and think; to think and live; to live and learn:

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This always,

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With new insight, new understanding, and new love.

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Alex

how to keep fighting

There are days when it feels futile. When our dogged efforts to persevere leave us exhausted and wanting more results. Hopeless. There is no immediate gratification for our daily battles. Only baby steps; an easier morning, an authentic laugh, a number that doesn’t matter anymore. But, those things aren’t tangible enough sometimes to power through the pain and anxiety, signing up for more challenges when the current ones haven’t been overcome.

We yearn for time to freeze just long enough to rest, and breathe, and heal. To pop our brains right off for a day of clarity and emancipation. They haven’t invented this type of procedure yet.

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A wise woman once asked me – is this something that you are, or something that you do? I have a feeling it’s the latter, and I am grateful for that.

It’s true, some people stop pushing forward. Maybe they believe they have reached the end. Maybe they have grown too tired keep fighting. Either way, they live chronically, with one foot in this world and one in another. Fear keeps me moving.

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There will always be a tomorrow. We need to stay hungry for it.

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Alex